Getting ready to hit the road again and it feels like saying goodbye the second time is so much harder. Maybe because I will be out for a longer period of time, or because home feels so comfortable. Maybe because it is cold and I know it will be a few weeks before I am back in the sunshine and warm temperatures. I cannot pinpoint it, so I will just keep driving, tears running down my cheeks. I should be in Colorado by the weekend and I can bet the mountain view will make everything MUCH better. 

My mother thought she had scheduled a surgery (minor) in my absence, but despite her debatable strategic planning, I was able to be home with her for that. She was concerned about me taking her, thought I might not have been tough enough, but I really wanted to be there. Up until maybe two years ago I still had my mother attending all doctor and dentist appointments with me. I want her to realize that she can begin to lean on me as well. That I am an adult and even though I have a ridiculous, irrational fear of hospitals and vomit, I will always be there to take care of her.

I did not want to come home. At all. If it wasn’t for the four amazing couples and one amazing family booked for this week I probably would have cried real tears crossing the Michigan border. Tears coming home, tears leaving home, I just can’t win here. I had promised myself that I was going to make this trip happen and not take on extra projects, but when I had two wedding opportunities (one with my very favorite gal, Wendy Thibodeau Photography) in the same week I knew it would be worth while to come back and book the week up. 

I even found time to apply the lipstick I bought in 2012 and do a quick self portrait session. Looking or feeling pretty has become less and less of a priority as I have passed through my twenties, but once in a while a reminder of what effort looks like should be had. Especially when you have a partner who is so completely accepting of your body or bad habits. Someone who adores you at your absolute worst, regardless of the length of your armpit hair, or number of times you fart on his leg in the middle of the night. He actually Facetimed me later in the day and the conversation went like this:

“Ooooo you gots your makeups done??”

“No, I did it!”                                                                                                                                   

“You know how to do makeup?”                                                                                            

“…………”

He deserves a rare glimpse of beauty too. 

There are so many things to be excited for in the coming weeks. This time I am traveling further, and will be gone for twice as long as I was before. But I know the reward will be so much greater. To see the redwoods and the cliffs over the oceans, to drive as high as the van will take me and then hike the rest of the way. The canyons, the desert, the rainforest. Starry skies. It is going to be so beautiful and perfect and fulfilling and terrifying and I want to experience it all.

Thank you to all of my clients for working around my schedule and hanging out with me this week. It was amazing to be in the presence of love and to make these images with you. 

So long again Michigan, be back in the spring. 

This was my first time to New Orleans and I was super excited despite some of the negative reviews received. I initially had planned to be in New Orleans for New Years Eve but traveled to Savannah instead and saved this for later when I knew Vlad would be here. Partially because I was nervous after so many individuals had pointed out that they viewed it as an unsafe city and partially because I knew Vlad really wanted to check it out too. And of course, we loved it. I knew that I would, but I am always drawn to the chaos. The colors, the music, the history, it really was a great place. So much so that I actually caught Vlad asking several people about real estate and rent prices. 

Before spending a few days in New Orleans we stopped to visit a college friend of mine and her family near Baton Rouge. We walked in the door and there were already crawfish boiling. I have been a vegan for ten years but have been a bit flexible on my egg and fish intake on the road because I am not being as diligent about my regular plant proteins. I did try one, even though I wasn't able to crack it open myself or even watch it being cracked open, but it was I guess kind of delicious. 

The south really feels like another world away. People's values, accents, everything feels so different. Laws might be a bit different too, our first stop after the crawfish was a drive through daiquiri place that totally blew my mind (they hand you booze out a window, into your car, it's just nuts). We were welcomed with open arms everywhere we went. Like we were neighbors that had lived down the street instead of perfect strangers. We did not run into the van kids from Miami, but we did see a lot of young people living on the streets. Vlad tried to make me feel better by insisting that so many of them had chosen this lifestyle. That they would rather run free without ties to society or bills or responsibility. But it is still hard to understand how some of us can be so continuously blessed while others are going without. 

I have discovered that the lower the temperature the less inspired I feel to take photographs. It was actually pretty cold while we were in Louisiana and I noticed that I kept forgetting to grab my camera, or when I did have it attached to my body I rarely took my hands out of my pockets to actually use it. Obviously an issue I need to overcome being a photographer located in Michigan as well as getting ready to head out to the mountains. 

I am also really drawn to anything and everything green. When I first started heading south five weeks ago I was so excited just to see foliage. I took a picture of a gate covered in ivy and I thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. Once the scenery started looking more like winter, I lost some of that inspiration. Again faced with another challenge to overcome. 

We had to head back up to Michigan at the end of this week for a couple of weddings but then I will be finally heading heading out west for the second part of this journey. I am super sad that the first five weeks have flown by so quickly and probably a bit more sad that it will be a couple minutes before I am back in warmer weather, but I am pretty excited about all of the beautiful places and people that are shaping this trip. I am feeling anxiety about heading out again solo, but I know this is what I want. There is still much to explore and many lessons to be learned. It has been and it going to continue to be so awesome. 

How has a month already flown by so fast. Not that every day hasn't been filled with awesomeness but I am so sad for such a big portion to be in the past. I am already on to planning my next adventures, looking at the wedding schedule for next summer and seeing when I can get out and do more exploring. It will likely never be enough. When first planning this trip I remember telling my mom that I thought it would help ground me a bit, feel more settled. She told me that it would do the opposite. She was right. 

This week was still spent predominately in Florida doing all of the tourist things. We spent a day in Magic Kingdom, it was Vlad’s first time. He told me that going to Walt Disney World was for American kids. Even as creepy adults without children and Vlad’s lack of knowledge of the majority of the movies (apparently Aladdin and The Lion King were the only films to make it all the way to Russia) it was still the best day ever. 

We loved the rides and live shows and fireworks, but my favorite moment of the day actually happened while we were inside one of the stores. The shops are crazy packed with parents and crying children at the end of the night so while we are making our way through the crowd of consumers this gentleman who was unable to speak approaches Vlad and is the MOST excited EVER to see him. While laughing and clapping he takes his two fingers and presses them to Vlad’s forehead, proceeds with a secret handshake, and then literally a full two minute hug. Like the longest hug I have ever witnessed. While I can see that Vlad is feeling mildly uncomfortable he continues to smile and match this man’s occasional back slapping. The hug ends and the man just walks away. The Disney employee behind the counter looks so confused and asked “Do y’all know each other?” I said “It looks like we do now!” to which he responded “that was seriously magic.”

And it really was. To watch this stranger, out of all of the people standing in this busy store to single Vlad out. It was like he could sense his energy, like he knew how totally awesome of a dude he was and he wanted to congratulate him for that. And then to watch Vlad who I know looks so tough and cool but is actually incredibly shy, accept this man’s embrace and spread love. Totally my favorite. Whenever I feel frustrated about why he needs three pairs of shoes laying out in the van at one time, I am going to take myself back to this moment. 

We cheated a bit and stayed in a hotel for a few days while in Orlando, and because of this I noticed that I didn't have any pictures of the van for this week. We went hiking up in Ocala National Park on our way out of Florida in search of early campers for the upcoming Rainbow Gathering, we didn’t find any, but we did find huge pinecones and panther tracks. We got so far out in the woods that we forgot about losing the sun so once I saw it setting I left Vlad behind and literally sprinted in my hiking boots down a sand path trying to get out to the van before dark so that I could get a cool photo. 

I didn’t make it, but I had to remind myself that this wasn’t the last sunset, or the last hike or the last adventure. That there were going to be so many more and that I don’t have to push everything into one day, or even one week. That I can actually just live and enjoy the moments as the come. Even the rainy days or the days where I have to be a grown up and do laundry. So much pressure is taken away because there can still be tomorrow. I feel crazy blessed to have taken this opportunity, and I really hope that more people will do the same. Life is so short and we need to stop trying to shove it into weekend vacations or spring break. I want to always be free and always do what I love and be surrounded by people that I love. Hopefully this is only the beginning.

I didn't create any images this week that I am very proud of, I actually left my camera behind most days, but not to worry, New Orleans will be posted next week. <3