WEEK THREE

I’m ready to move on from Florida. The weather has been beautiful. Bathing suits and bike rides in January is amazing. But even while living on the road I cannot sit still in one spot for too long. Although I am sure there is much more to see, I am ready to breathe mountain air. Ready to peek over cliffs, encounter new travelers, be somewhere I haven't been before. It has also been raining for two straight days so I may or may not be pouting. 

It has been challenging to switch my brain from finding inspiration behind landscapes or objects versus human interaction. I am feeling stagnant among the palm trees. Even when I was out feeding sea turtles I was more tempted to photograph the young child with his father versus the turtles. However I am pushing myself to still be creative and make images I feel proud of, even if the subjects are not what I desire, the practice will still generate growth and I continuously want to improve and be better. 

Having Vlad here makes people friendlier. He just looks cool, so I think people think that I am cool because I am hanging out with him. People are more approachable and don’t seem to give me as much as a hard time if I am taking pictures or wandering past No Trespassing signs. No matter how free and open my heart is, I can’t seem to get past the “basic bitch” image, but he softens that for me, makes it feel more like I can walk my own path without judgement. 

When traveling in a van you encounter a lot of other people living on the road as well. Either at gas stations or rest stops, and the Wal-Marts. Wal-Mart actually allows cars and RV's to park overnight in their lots, so you will notice a lot of travelers towards the back. One morning we woke up in a Wal-Mart Parking lot and observed four young people, a very large dog and some sort of rodent all crawling out of a mini-van. We eyed each other up and then went on our separate ways. 

Later that night in Miami, walking through a festival Vlad recognized the same four kids and their dog coming towards us, thankfully they recognized us too. We stopped to talk for a bit about their journey. They had been out for nine months and were funding their trip by selling necklaces and bracelets they would make. The leader of the pack asked Vlad "how do you guys fund your trip?" Vlad nodded my way and said "She's a photographer." To which we got a short "oh." Clearly not impressed.

I will say that I do feel like a bit of a poser when I meet friends like this. Like I make as much money as your parents and I live in a van because I think it's cool. Not because it's my last option or because I don't have anywhere else to go. I have a home, a car, and steady income back in Michigan. These kids are cooking Ramen noodles off of their engine and Vlad and I just spent $50 on street food and beer. I can't seem to get them off my mind, this morning I woke up telling Vlad I wished we would have given them something, we should have bought them a case of beer, an elephant ear, something. I did give them my contact info, and they plan to be in New Orleans the same time we are, so fingers crossed our paths will meet again.

Miami did seem to have a magic to it, despite my current feeling of boredom towards Florida. The camera batteries in the Nikon and Fuji died so I was left with just my words to store the memories. I told Vlad I want to remember these moments always. There is a fine line as a photographer to just live in the moment and not feel the need to capture it and keep it on your hard drive for forever. 

But I really did just want to remember how I felt spending all day and night on the beach. How our lips were so salty and our legs burned from the 8 miles of walking the full length of South Beach over and over again. How the warm air felt and the wind whipping the sand on my bare legs. How very content I was in those moments and satisfied I felt. Not thinking about the next day or week, just happy to be holding hands and sipping vodka out of a water bottle. It's the feeling that I hoped for, one that I work towards, to just be present. For brief moments to feel still. My heart will forever be wild but anxiety will for sure be the death of me. Finally feeling calm and relaxed, I know it won't last, but I will appreciate it while I can.

WEEK TWO

Today is probably the first day so far that I have actually relaxed. It’s 1:43pm and I am still in my PJ’s and the van is a mess. It has been a very busy couple of weeks, so busy that you almost forget how you filled up all of the days until you sift through the pictures and realize how very awesome life is. 

A fuel pump needed to be replaced on the van, so my stay with friends was extended. You meet a lot more people traveling solo and I had an opportunity to be just inside my head for a while, which was necessary after closing out a busy wedding season. Being with friends all week, I found that I didn’t encounter as many strangers, but I did have the opportunity to really strengthen some existing relationships. I am hoping to have a perfect balance over the next few months, of experiencing this journey independently as well as with the ones I love. 

Week two was absolutely beautiful in sunny Florida. It has been full of exploring and oceans and alligators and babies. I have tan lines in January. The first half of the week was spent up in Sarasota with my photographer friend, Shanell and her five year old son, Dane. I then made my way down to Fort Meyers Beach where I spent a coupe of days with my high school best friend, Chelsea and her family. On Thursday, my most favorite human, Vlad, flew in for his birthday and we took off for the Keys. 

Vlad and I met a year ago almost to the date. He loves to explore even more than I do, so when I told him about my plans with the van, and my goal to make the trip alone, it was hard to ignore the disappointment in his precious face. He has been so supportive of the trip, helping fix up the vamper and listen to me endlessly talk about all of the places I want to visit. It was hard for me to think about leaving him behind, I felt selfish and stubborn. I knew that he would just accelerate every experience. If I felt like hiking a mountain, he would make sure we went all the way to the very top, if I wanted to go out for a drink, we would undoubtedly be wandering the streets, loud and affectionate at 4am. I also knew that I wanted this trip to be independent for a reason. 

I’ve worked really hard for the last decade, putting myself through college and grad school, climbing to the top of my career, always working multiple jobs and long hours to feel successful. But I’ve also always been quite flighty. Changing my mind about the five year plan only once a week, jumping into new projects or starting new businesses or degrees whenever life felt idle. I wanted to feel calm, to no longer feel like I was missing out on something, to be confident in commitment and to accept that I will never be the type to sit still. 

So how do you choose between your solo pilgrimage and sharing the greatest adventure with your partner? You compromise. I am super excited to have Vlad here for the next coupe of weeks, and for him to rejoin me again at the end of the trip on the west coast. Love is sweet, and I am hugely blessed. So many more weeks to go.

WEEK ONE

How can it only be one week of this four month long journey. I already feel like I’ve gained so much, felt so much and slept so little. If I keep up on weekly posts there will be 16 of them. And that feels like a lot of adventure. A lot of awesome adventure. 

Living in the van has its challenges, but I am learning as I go. Like how to keep food cold when not plugged into a power source, or filling the very slow leaking tire daily. I figure, if our ancestors survived in wagons driving cross country, I can handle a 1990 camper van that smells nice and has battery operated twinkle lights. (You know, for the ambiance.) 

In the first week alone Ihave traveled to Lexington, KY; Asheville, NC; Columbia, SC; Charleston, SC; Savannah, GA and lastly landed in Sarasota, FL. Maybe that is why I am so sleepy. When I planned to take this trip I knew that I was seeking something. Adventure, independence, relaxation, experiences, etc. However, two things I have found that I wasn’t expecting were God and babies. Not that I haven’t always known God, but a definite sense of closeness and comfort has been found on the road. And thankfully several of my hosts have had the most precious babies for me to snuggle upon to cure any loneliness. 

When I am not staying with friends, I have been parking at Pilot Gas Stations exclusively. I have grown a sort of affection for the trucker stops. They have their very own app where I can plan out my stay based on my destination. And their showers are actually crazy nice. AND, they even host truck trailer church on Sundays. 

I have also of course grown a huge affection for my van, I am actually finding that I personify the van in almost every situation. Like I feel pride when it climbs the top of the mountain, or guilty currently for parking it so far from where I am staying. The van and I, we are pals. This is as much it’s story as it is mine, and I couldn’t make this journey what it is without the feeling of safety or comfort that it provides. I was especially excited to take the van to my favorite place in Savannah, Wormsloe Plantation. 

Here are a few photographs of the last seven days. Looking forward to the next few weeks in warm, sunny Florida with some of my most favorite people. And maybe getting some sleep, maybe.